The Conventions Collide: Part 1
Posted by Jake Leonard on September 6, 2008
Prologue
With the Republican convention over, it proves nothing more than Republicans are as ill-witted, stupid, highly useless and full of empty promises as the Democrats. Both parties have jokes as presidential and vice-presidential candidates. The Democrats have an inexperienced, African-American former state and current U.S. Senator who hails from Chicagoland by the name of Barack Obama (some call him “Barack Saddam bin Laden Hussein”). His running mate, Delaware U.S. Senator Joseph Biden, is a nicompoop who rides the Amtrak everyday to and from Washington who has nothing to contribute to the Obama campaign. The Republican opponent is Arizona U.S. Senator John “I Got Raped In Vietnam” McCain, who is an old geezer who will only be as effective as a Dick Cheney heart attack or a Fred Sanford insult. About as bad is his running mate, a loan shark and a whore, present Alaska governor Sarah Palin.
Presidential Nominee: Barack Obama
Here are a few things on Obama:
- He is a staunch supporter of Rod Blagojevich, the highly-controversial “Jewish Cowboy”, who currently serves as the present Governor of Illinois.
- Obama has a highly inflated ego and has the speaking skills to persuade people to believe him.
- All of the presidential race has been hype from his pathetic books.
- He is inexperienced, lacks compassion/time/energy and has no “real plan” to get our troops out of Iraq and Afghanistan, the biggest military mistake of all time.
- He has no real plan for “real change” in America.
Obama did surprise the Democratic delegation with an early video appearance and then on the day of Biden’s VP acceptance speech and then did the unpredecented: having spoken his acceptance speech not in the convention center, but at Mile High Stadium. (If you’re too illiterate or don’t know your geography, the Democratic National Convention was held in Denver, Colorado a.k.a the Mile High City.)
When conservative critics say he is inexperienced, I have to agree, but then I have to ask this question:
“Who, ever in the history of the United States of America, has ever ran for president or vice president that was inexperienced in any, some or every aspect of the job description?”
Well, I can tell you that every one of them is guilty in some capacity. Every person in every position in the political spectrum has been inexperienced, so Obama would probably just be one of “the guys.” Obama may have helped “change” Illinois, but do you think he can “change” America? I doubt it.
Presidential Nominee: John McCain
Here are a few things on McCain:
- McCain was a prisoner of war from the Vietnam War.
- He is as much a gullible asshole as Barack Obama.
- He likes to flip-flop on the issues, like Obama.
Can you really believe what trash comes out of the mouth of this man?
Inflated Information
At the DNC, Democrats accused McCain of supporting President Bush’s legislation 95% of the time. What an inflated statement! According to researchers, that figure is highly inflated, as McCain only supported Bush 79.95% of the time.
Republicans are no better. They accuse Obama of not supporting Bush legislation, with 0% support. A deflated statement! According to the same researchers that did McCain’s statistics, Obama did support Bush almost 49% of the time.
My Input
If I had been President of the United States of America, both candidates would be graded unsatisfactory, like I would do to Clinton, Kennedy, Biden, Kerry and others on both sides. They’d all get a big fat F for presidential support.
As an independent split-ticket (and sometimes multiple-party) voter, I must say that I will not support either one of them in November, no matter what measures they make to get my vote.
The War On Terrorism
This is a highly-controversial debate issue, as regardless of what liberal media or what the conservatives say, we are losing this war, as it is as ineffective as Vietnam. We have had Osama bin Laden in our grasps in the whole six years in what should be named “Desert Storm 2: The Iraq and Afghanistan Conflicts”, which was a big mistake. bin Laden has been in our grasp for so long that questions arise if the U.S. or maybe the U.N. is protecting his sorry ass. Reports say that former Presidents George Bush #1 and Bill Clinton were hiding information on any whereabouts of bin Laden. Another rupture in the volcano: the Bushs are business partners with the bin Laden family and rumors say the Clintons are also. If so, they set us up for the biggest downfall in the history of the United States since the Great Depression (Herbert Hoover’s screw-up):
- Declining economy
- Rising gasoline and diesel prices
- Declining currency value and rising food prices
- Declining presidential and Congressional approval rating
- Dick Cheney’s blowing birdshot at a Texas lawyer
- Bill Clinton denying everything from Monica to 9/11
- Rudy Guiliani making a bigger ass of himself
Did you even know that all of the former people in Congress who were in scandals blame their wrongdoings on Catholics and 9/11? They did!
My Advice
So when you watch political TV ads leading up to Election Day, which will have attacks on the other guy, please keep this in mind:
- They are full of crap.
- They are full of empty promises.
- They will have someone in their interest who has:
- bad body odor (from not showering for six months)
- have rotten teeth (with five teeth left to their head)
- have a wife and fifteen kids (nine of them are girls from 16 to 27 are pregnant, five are considering abortion)
- above family are crammed into a house meant for nine people in a Boston or New York suburb and caused the property value of the neighborhood to go all to hell
- looks as revolting as Michael Jackson on the 4th of July
